The Importance of Cleaning Up!
by ToldInTechnicolour
Summary: Overused plots entry: health class and marriage law. What happens when The Law of Compulsory Matrimony is announced to the students? Why does it seem to have sent at least one of them a little crazy?


**My entry for the Overused Plots challenge on HPFC. Kinda loosely based on the plots but I think it's not too bad. **

"A feckin' marriage law? You've gotta be kiddin' Professor!" Seamus Finnegan exclaimed. His skin tinged red but it was unclear whether it was through embarrassment for being so uncivil or just sheer anger and disbelief.

"Calm down, Mr Finnegan!" McGonagall tersely replied. "The Law of Compulsory Matrimony is being introduced from today. I must say, I believe it rather unfair, but you did not hear that children, it is not my place to examine the shortcomings of the Ministry's decisions." She waved her wand with panache and the papers on her desk hastily rearranged themselves, as if they knew her mood was formidable.

The whole of the sixth and seventh years looked at each other, totally aghast. Apparently, the Ministry thought that marriage would encourage child birth which was deemed essential with the threat of Voldemort looming large. It was the general consensus in the Great Hall (where the announcement had just been made), that expecting sixteen and seventeen year olds to become parents was ridiculous. To the deeper thinkers, it signalled how bad the situation must be for the Ministry to ask so much. It didn't mean they thought it was a good plan though.

"This is preposterous!" Hermione despaired.

"I can't believe they have a Scarf of Sexual Preference," moaned Ron. "And it's been bewitched to pick us a partner!"

"Guys, if we do manage to defeat _him_, I'm pretty sure they'll repeal the law," Harry suggested in an undertone. "What's another incentive to add to the list?" He chuckled darkly.

"We couldn't help over-hearing," George Weasley sat down next to the trio who were alone in remaining seated amongst the complaining crowd. Fred flopped down next to him, quiet for once. "Oh, don't mind him, he's just shocked, that's all."

Fred slid closer to Harry on the bench, a very serious look came into his brown eyes. Harry just stared back with his own green ones, already feeling a prank coming along. The light from the hall's candles made Fred's hair shine and look like fire. Harry wasn't going to chicken out, a prank might help lighten the mood anyway. He just didn't know what was coming. And even the great Harry Potter got nervous when the Weasleys had a prank to pull.

Fred had become uncomfortably close and Harry was inexplicably reminded of the health class where they had been given the talk on wizards liking wizards. The class had listened to the Professor's uncomfortable ramblings, most of them already comfortable in the knowledge that however they felt was perfectly fine.

Harry then thought, '_no, not even Fred would go that far for a prank!' _and realised why he was reminded of health class. Before he could think any more, a freckled hand pressed to the back of his skull and pulled him towards Fred Weasley's lips. Harry Potter was being well and truly kissed by a Weasley. And not the one he would have chosen. He was determined though, that he would out-prank the boy. In a war against a sociopathic tyrant, small victories were worth taking. Fred deepened the kiss and moulded his body to the smaller boy's. He had straddled the bench and Harry was uncomfortably turned sideways. He still didn't push Fred away.

When they finally broke apart, the hall was in a stunned silence. To Harry's surprise, George broke it with a "What the hell, Gred!" in a rather high-pitched voice. That meant it hadn't been a prank...but then, what was it? Harry's mind raced. He flushed deeply, aware of everyone's eyes on him.

"Joke's over, guys!" He called to the goggling students. They slowly began to chatter and drift around again as it became obvious that not one of the five presently seated would speak until they did so.

"Fred, care to explain?" George demanded of his twin, the tips of his ears still rather pink.

"Harry, I love Harry," he breathed. "He's all I can think about. Ever since we were in his dormitory and I ate one of those chocolates that you said I shouldn't. Bit of mould never hurt anyone, George. And I siphoned it off with my wand. But it hit me, how perfect Harry is. The mould was just a shade away from the colour of his eyes!"

"You were in our dormitory? Why?" demanded Ron.

"Just looking for something for the shop, an old sneakoscope Harry said we could take," said George. "We were looking under Harry's bed when Fred pulled out these manky looking chocolates. I suppose he _did _miss breakfast doing an early morning Snape detention." Nevertheless, he shuddered at his twin's undiscerning eating habits.

"Oh. OH." Ron said, his eyes widening. "Harry, did you ever get rid of those chocolates from Romilda?"

Harry had been sat there, silently stunned. "No. I thought you did, Ron." He raised an eyebrow and smirked in comprehension.

"I guess the love potion changed with age, making it's intended recipient the object of the desire it causes." Hermione explained.

"Basically, get Fred to the hospital wing," summarised Harry. He couldn't wait to see what Fred would say when he was brought to his senses.

A few hours later, Fred had disarmed Harry's cheeky comments with "You didn't exactly complain, Potter!" and a wink. All Harry's explanations of his out-pranking intentions fell on deaf ears and guffaws rang out around the Great Hall.

The Scarf had begun to pair people off. It seemed to have quite the personality. If it liked the way a person handled it, it paired them off with someone they felt some from of affection for. Like the Sorting Hat, it communicated with its wearer privately.

Most of the students had decided that a mass rebellion would be in order if the right time came, but they'd just have to live with the consequences of the law for the time-being. After all, there were more important things to worry about, and whilst at Hogwarts, the baby-making side wasn't feasible. It would just be more of an act than anything. It didn't mean that they were happy to be paired off, though.

Seamus sat with the Scarf around his neck. All eyes were on him. He paled considerably. The Scarf obviously took offence to his earlier comment to Professor McGonagall and was coming up with a suitable punishment. It was clearly reading his mind to find the worst possible option for his wife.

"Seamus Finnegan, I partner you with Pansy Parkinson!" declared the Scarf.

Seamus didn't move. It didn't look like he would do for a long time.

**Hope you don't hate it! R&R? Even if it is just to tell me how rubbish it is ;)**


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